I came across this book
quite by chance while randomly browsing some other books on the web.
The title of the book caught my eye as did its blurb – a mother and
a son jointly read books together and then discuss them, at a time
when the mother is diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and does not have
very long to live.
To say that I thoroughly
enjoyed the book would be an understatement. Firstly, the premise
itself is quite unique and nothing like anything that I have read
before. Secondly, it is a book
about books – it is quite liberally sprinkled with
all the books that the duo read for their 'book club' with their
varied observations on it. As a bookworm and a bibliophile, I could
not be more thrilled. Thirdly, we often do not read about a son
talking so passionately about his mother; there are several instances
of a father-daughter and a mother-daughter bonding.
When Will Schwalbe learns
that his mother is diagnosed with cancer, he does not know to react.
But he decides to turn to books. As he mentions, “Books reminded us
that no matter where Mom and I were on our individual journeys, we
could still share books, and while reading those books, we wouldn't
be the sick person and the well person.” They form a book club
where they frequently exchange books and discuss them.
What I found fascinating
while reading the book was that Will's mother, Mary Anne, was a
perfect example of 'Lean In', much before Sheryl Sandberg coined the
term. She was the first female director of admissions at Radcliffe
and then Harvard. She also headed a girls' school in New York. In her
50s, she started helping refugees around the world visiting war zone
places like Bosnia, Liberia, Sierra Leone, Burma, etc., eventually
founding the Women's Refugee Commission. She also helped raise money
for a national library and cultural center at Afghanistan's Kabul
University. Basically, she achieved what most of us can only hope to
achieve in bits and pieces.
Through the 'book club',
Will and his mother were not just reading and discovering books, they
were rediscovering themselves as well. Will notes, “I was learning
that when you're with someone who is dying, you may need to celebrate
the past, live the present, and mourn the future all at the same
time. Reading isn't the opposite of doing; it's the opposite of
dying. I will never be able to read my mother's favourite books
without thinking of her.” I completely agree with Will on this
point. I just find it wonderful how we build memories as we read
books. And don't most of our relationships have as their foundation a
common love for reading?
During one of the book
discussions, Mary Anne said, “Every great religion shares a love
of books, of reading, of knowledge. When I think back on all the
refugee camps I visited, all over the world, the people always asked
for the same things: books.” She never wavered in her conviction
that books are the most powerful tool in the human arsenal, that
reading all kinds of books, in whatever format you choose is the
greatest entertainment and also is how you take part in human
conversation.
The book also touches
upon a very important point, one that Atul Gawande is now making with
his book 'Being Mortal' – end-of-life care. This focuses not just
on managing pain but also on helping patients and their families
maintain the best possible quality of life throughout the course of
an illness. Towards the end, when his mother realized that any
treatment would only reduce her quality of living, she chose to be
home with a caring nurse amidst her books and her collection of
pottery surrounded by her family.
Though you know right at
the beginning what the end is going to be, I would still urge you to
read this book. It fills you with a sense of hope and a sense of
wanting to do something with our limited time on this planet. Mary
Anne's life should inspire all of us; her warm nature, her deep
involvement with society, her commitment to her family and friends,
her passion with reading different genres of books and her belief
that, at the end of the day, kindness begets kindness. With this
book, I would like to believe the author Will Schwalbe has paid a
perfect homage to the memory of his mother.
As an aside, I came
across an interesting tidbit as I read the book. Will's sister-in-law
Nancy was commissioned by the second-richest family in India to do a
giant mural for the ballroom of the house they were building in
Mumbai, which would be the tallest private house in the world. For
those of us who stay in Mumbai it is not very difficult to imagine
who that family could be. For the others, does Antilia ring a bell?